I just finished reading “Snow Falling On Cedars,” which was pretty good overall, but the author has this thing where he tries to describe characters’ personalities by describing their dicks and masturbation habits and just….no. (And the women are defined by their relationship to these dicks and masturbation habits, of course.)
THIS IS A MINOR CHARACTER AND ALL WE KNOW ABOUT HIM IS THREE PAGES ABOUT HIS PENIS: “The doctor had asked Nels embarrassing questions and he had been forced to reveal a truth about which he was ashamed: that he could no longer achieve an erection. He could achieve one briefly, but it would wither in his hand before he had a chance to take pleasure from it. The bad part was not really this so much as it was that a woman like Susan Marie Heine inspired a deep frustration in him. He felt defeated as he appraised her on the witness stand. It was no longer possible for him to communicate to any woman - even those his own age he knew in town - his merit and value as a lover, for he no longer had this sort of worth and had to admit as much to himself…..” etc. etc. for about 2.5 more pages.
THIS IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A GRUESOME AUTOPSY SCENE. THE PENIS DESCRIBED BELONGS TO A DROWNED CORPSE: “Horace felt a familiar envy stirring and despite himself noted the girth and heft of Carl Heine’s sexual organs. The fisherman had not been circumcised and his testicles were taut and hairless. They had pulled up toward his body in the frigid seawater, and his penis, at least twice as large as Horace’s own, even frozen, lay fat and pink against his left leg.” We also get several later descriptions of how huge the man’s dick is and how good he is at sex.
THIS IS A REAL SENTENCE AND PLOT POINT: “He thought of how she’d had her revelation at the very moment he’d entered her, how the invasion of his penis had brought with it a truth she could discover in no other way.” She’s literally completely changed forever by his penis.
I stopped by Topshop today and….I think they’ve either stopped or seriously scaled back on carrying clothes above size 8 in stores. Ughh. :P
I did some shopping/errand running today and I decided to keep an eye out for the Lupita Nyong’o issue of Marie Claire. She’s one of five covers for May - the other four are Elle Fanning, Kate Mara, Elizabeth Olsen and Emilia Clarke. I checked in two stores and the Lupita covers were selling out so fast! Barnes & Noble had 5 Kate Maras, 2 Elle Fannings, 1 Elizabeth Olsen, 1 Emilia Clarke and 0 Lupita Nyong’os; Duane Reade had a bunch of Kate Maras and Elle Fannings in the front and then I found a single Lupita issue and a bunch of Emilia Clarkes and a few Elizabeth Olsens in the back. I know this is anecdotal but I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s selling wayyyy more issues than the other 4. Hopefully she gets her own major magazine cover soon!